Facebook Is Broken (and apparently likes it that way)

Facebook has made so many changes over the years which have disadvantaged its users. The short of it, for me, is that Facebook is not worth my time as long as it prevents the Social Fixer extension from doing its job. I won't leave Facebook, but I will try my damnedest not to lay eyes on its precious little "news" feed until it relents and lets us have Social Fixer back - properly.

My Complaints/Demands:
* Facebook needs to stop interfering with Social Fixer. Facebook manages to screw up a good thing so often - especially after it just managed to make it somewhat nice - that it really isn't worth our time without Social Fixer.

* Facebook needs to put all of our privacy settings on one page. I don't want to have to jump all over the place to tweak this and that and the other thing, too. One control panel to rule them all. In addition, Facebook needs to widely distribute a privacy reader which explains how people's privacy settings affect themselves *and* others.

* Let us filter the "news" feed into tabs. Or else. I don't want to check out all posts right away. There are some posts that I simply do not want to see at all. There are others that I prefer to lump together thematically so that Facebook makes more sense to me. Again, Facebook is worthless without this fix from Social Fixer.

* Let Social Fixer's halt of the "scroll to see more stories" feature actually work. Automatically loading more posts hurts my computer. Stop. It. Already. Let us have some control over this.

* Give us back subscription levels. We can decide just fine on our own what and how much we want to see from whom. I want to determine how much of a contact's photos ends up in my "news" feed. I want to control whether I see someone's group activity or not. And if Facebook is going to force us to read people's comments and likes (none of us really want to), I'd like to control how much of that ends up in my feed, as well. I want the option of seeing all of a contact's "stories" (hint: it's called a "post" - not a "story"), most of the posts, some of the posts, or none of the posts - in each field.

* Stop it with that damned "bump" feature. It throws things out of chronological order. We. Like. Our. Chronological. Order. And, again, we can decide perfectly well on our own what we would like to see from whom.

* Let us control who can be notified of our comments, likes, and group joins. Some of us like to engage socially in peace and quiet without being followed around by family or casual acquaintances. Those of us who are vulnerable minorities would also like very much, if you please, to have safety, security, and maybe even our jobs.

* Don't automatically tag us in posts and photos or add us to groups. Stop the process and pend it on our permission. It's a pain in my ass to have to un-tag myself or leave groups.

* When I comment on or subscribe to notifications on a post, I fully expect to continue receiving notifications form that post. Your "bumping" nonsense is annoying, and it only confuses me when I stop receiving notifications and someone yells at me for dropping out of a conversation. I didn't type away or make those clicks for my good health - I expect to get more notifications.

* I want Facebook to allow Social Reviver, another extension, get rid of those accursed chat bubbles. They are the newest unwanted annoyance that Facebook has tossed at us which I cannot stand.

* Facebook needs to stop with its absolute suppression of all posts by our Pages. We understand that not all of our subscribers will see all of our posts, but when we have hundreds or thousands of followers and only a dozen or less ever see any posts, it's on the point of ridiculousness and seriously not worth our time. There is this thing. It's called a blog. I will use it if Facebook doesn't stop it with its nonsense.

I don't know if you caught it or not, but I have a healthy level of disrespect for Facebook's neo-logisms, not least among them the term "news feed." "News"? Nonsense. I go to Google News for *news.* I go to Facebook for online social interaction. For now (say hello to my email account and my blog). Again, the short is it is that Facebook sucks and is really quite worthless without Social Fixer.

The Sun Rose for Him

A poem that I composed as the Muslim community lost a young, precious, beautiful soul.

Part of the words:

Then a huge blazing ball of fire
erupted from the horizon
casting its crimson rays across the sky

Worthlessness as a Symptom of Depression

You consider yourself so unimportant as to not merit that your loved ones would spend their time and energy on you. You convince yourself that other people in their lives are more important to them and that they don't want you around. In the case of survivors of abuse, a chorus of cheerleaders - the ghosts of your past - chimes in, repeating in the voices of those who have tormented you their descriptions of your lack of worth: "Who would want to spend time with *you*?" "You'll just annoy them; and they won't want to be your friends, either." "Go away; no-one wants to be around you."

The pain is unbearable. It is excruciating. Your mind is just as complicit with those ghosts of your past in inflicting this psychological torture on you. And in this midst of all of this soul-rending pain, you can't reach out to others for comfort, because "no-one wants to be around you," and "you'll just annoy them," and " who would want to spend time with you?"

Worthlessness, especially when backed by a history of severe psychological trauma, is one of the more dangerous symptoms of depression out there.

Hashtags: #‎Depression‬, ‪#‎Abuse‬, ‪#‎EmotionalAbuse‬, ‪#‎PTSD‬, ‪#‎Loneliness‬, ‪#‎Suicide‬, ‪#‎Ideation‬
(A note that as of the time of this posting, I am healthy. There is nothing to worry about save my insomnia and a slight shortage of kleenex around here.)

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Below Image for the purpose of Facebook Visibility

Asexuals: We Also Seek Love

There are asexuals.

 We exist. This doesn't always mean that a person is completely disinterested in sex. Some people might have a very mild interest, or a rare interest. Others never want sex at all.

However, some of us still want the emotional intimacy that comes with a strongly bonded relationship. Some of us want to have a loved one, or a few loved ones, in our lives with whom we spend time and make special memories. Some of us might enjoy hugging and/or hand-holding. Some of us might want to cuddle. Some of us might enjoy kissing or other activities. Some of us don't feel the need to have that relationship formalised; others do. Please don't assume. Don't assume that we don't want a relationship; and don't assume that we don't want any physical contact at all. Ask.

It is rather difficult explaining to someone that you want to form relationships with others which have just as much emotional intimacy as a sexual relationship and which may even include certain aspects of physical intimacy such as hugging and hand-holding - but you just don't feel inclined to sex more than a small handful of times during the year.

And then it's downright frightening to try to approach someone to ask about the possibility of having such a relationship at all. It is so nerve-racking to work up the courage to ask to have such a relationship validated as a "relationship" of which one person would say to the other, "I'm seeing so-and-so" or "So-and-so is my partner/cuddle partner."

Because who might laugh at you to your face? God knows that rejection is already physically painful enough, but to be misunderstood and trivialised goes above and beyond even that. Then, who might not even understand the desire for the kind of emotional stability that a dedicated relationship provides? "You're just asexual. You don't need to be in a relationship like all the rest of us."

It is so difficult to navigate the world of love. Our hearts get smashed into bits and pieces, and on quite a regular basis. Please don't assume. Please ask us - ask what it is that we are comfortable with, ask what we desire in a relationship, and let us know what you want, what you need, what you are willing to provide should such a discussion arise.

My Love Is with You

A poem that I wrote while I was at the LGBTQ Muslim Retreat in 2013 about my experience with romantic love as a semi-asexual person. An excerpt: "And when the evensong rises from your heart...then my heart will sing with yours.