Saturday, 27 July 2013

Worthlessness as a Symptom of Depression

You consider yourself so unimportant as to not merit that your loved ones would spend their time and energy on you. You convince yourself that other people in their lives are more important to them and that they don't want you around. In the case of survivors of abuse, a chorus of cheerleaders - the ghosts of your past - chimes in, repeating in the voices of those who have tormented you their descriptions of your lack of worth: "Who would want to spend time with *you*?" "You'll just annoy them; and they won't want to be your friends, either." "Go away; no-one wants to be around you."

The pain is unbearable. It is excruciating. Your mind is just as complicit with those ghosts of your past in inflicting this psychological torture on you. And in this midst of all of this soul-rending pain, you can't reach out to others for comfort, because "no-one wants to be around you," and "you'll just annoy them," and " who would want to spend time with you?"

Worthlessness, especially when backed by a history of severe psychological trauma, is one of the more dangerous symptoms of depression out there.

Hashtags: #‎Depression‬, ‪#‎Abuse‬, ‪#‎EmotionalAbuse‬, ‪#‎PTSD‬, ‪#‎Loneliness‬, ‪#‎Suicide‬, ‪#‎Ideation‬
(A note that as of the time of this posting, I am healthy. There is nothing to worry about save my insomnia and a slight shortage of kleenex around here.)

Below Image for the purpose of Facebook Visibility

Thursday, 4 July 2013

Asexuals: We Also Seek Love

There are asexuals.

 We exist. This doesn't always mean that a person is completely disinterested in sex. Some people might have a very mild interest, or a rare interest. Others never want sex at all.

However, some of us still want the emotional intimacy that comes with a strongly bonded relationship. Some of us want to have a loved one, or a few loved ones, in our lives with whom we spend time and make special memories. Some of us might enjoy hugging and/or hand-holding. Some of us might want to cuddle. Some of us might enjoy kissing or other activities. Some of us don't feel the need to have that relationship formalised; others do. Please don't assume. Don't assume that we don't want a relationship; and don't assume that we don't want any physical contact at all. Ask.

It is rather difficult explaining to someone that you want to form relationships with others which have just as much emotional intimacy as a sexual relationship and which may even include certain aspects of physical intimacy such as hugging and hand-holding - but you just don't feel inclined to sex more than a small handful of times during the year.

And then it's downright frightening to try to approach someone to ask about the possibility of having such a relationship at all. It is so nerve-racking to work up the courage to ask to have such a relationship validated as a "relationship" of which one person would say to the other, "I'm seeing so-and-so" or "So-and-so is my partner/cuddle partner."

Because who might laugh at you to your face? God knows that rejection is already physically painful enough, but to be misunderstood and trivialised goes above and beyond even that. Then, who might not even understand the desire for the kind of emotional stability that a dedicated relationship provides? "You're just asexual. You don't need to be in a relationship like all the rest of us."

It is so difficult to navigate the world of love. Our hearts get smashed into bits and pieces, and on quite a regular basis. Please don't assume. Please ask us - ask what it is that we are comfortable with, ask what we desire in a relationship, and let us know what you want, what you need, what you are willing to provide should such a discussion arise.