An Open Letter to Survivors of Abuse from Your Loving Allies

Darling Survivors,
Wherever you are, whatever your situation, you are still here. Please know that we out here know that continuing on this journey that we call life is an everyday struggle. You are so strong. You've endured what you have endured, and now you are here experiencing some kind of life. And we cannot imagine life without you, to be perfectly honest.

We are listening to you. We believe you. We affirm your experiences and lived realities. What you choose to disclose to us is real. We are honoured to carry some of your story with you. We do not need any kind of documentation or proof to demonstrate the veracity of your story. We love you and honour your lived reality and your experiences.

You have hurts - some wounds will never heal. We won't demand of you that any part of you get healed. You also have joys; frustrations; boring days; points of brilliance, light, and happiness. We are here with you, willing to share these with you if you want. Anything that you need, let us know. One or more of us will be at your side, doing everything that we can for you.

There is harshness in this world. You already know this. You've spent so much time knowing this. There is also love. Every day, people are pouring their love out into the universe. Some of it - as much as you need - is yours for the taking. We see you, we honour you, and our love is for you.

Sincerely yours,
-A Whole Bunch of Allies

Afraid to Smile

Depression: Destruction of the Self
TW: References to emotional abuse and some tactics used in emotional abuse.

"Crap, I am smiling and laughing! Is it acceptable for me to be happy like this? I haven't got permission to be. Can I get away with this? Is there anyone around to catch me?" (Cont'd below image.)

Because when psychological torture involves demeaning a person for experiencing emotions or invalidating that person's emotions or opinions, that abuse survivor is likely to undergo Destruction of the Self - a disconnect with one's own identity. Most likely, the survivor will come to identify with the attacker.

The survivor may also have difficulty expressing feeling or even opinions on exiting the abusive situation. This can manifest in, among other symptoms, emotional numbness or indecisiveness. While these can also double as PTSD symptoms, their basis as symptoms of depression is a lack of sense of worth: I don't deserve to be happy; I am contaminated, so I need permission to be happy; I am not worthy of expressing my happiness to others, etc.

Remember that you have intrinsic self-worth, that you were born with it and no-one has the right to part you from it. You can laugh. You can cry. You can rage. You can be calm. It is all yours. You deserve it.

Worthlessness as a Symptom of Depression

You consider yourself so unimportant as to not merit that your loved ones would spend their time and energy on you. You convince yourself that other people in their lives are more important to them and that they don't want you around. In the case of survivors of abuse, a chorus of cheerleaders - the ghosts of your past - chimes in, repeating in the voices of those who have tormented you their descriptions of your lack of worth: "Who would want to spend time with *you*?" "You'll just annoy them; and they won't want to be your friends, either." "Go away; no-one wants to be around you."

The pain is unbearable. It is excruciating. Your mind is just as complicit with those ghosts of your past in inflicting this psychological torture on you. And in this midst of all of this soul-rending pain, you can't reach out to others for comfort, because "no-one wants to be around you," and "you'll just annoy them," and " who would want to spend time with you?"

Worthlessness, especially when backed by a history of severe psychological trauma, is one of the more dangerous symptoms of depression out there.

Hashtags: #‎Depression‬, ‪#‎Abuse‬, ‪#‎EmotionalAbuse‬, ‪#‎PTSD‬, ‪#‎Loneliness‬, ‪#‎Suicide‬, ‪#‎Ideation‬
(A note that as of the time of this posting, I am healthy. There is nothing to worry about save my insomnia and a slight shortage of kleenex around here.)

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