You consider yourself so unimportant as to not merit that your loved ones would spend their time and energy on you. You convince yourself that other people in their lives are more important to them and that they don't want you around. In the case of survivors of abuse, a chorus of cheerleaders - the ghosts of your past - chimes in, repeating in the voices of those who have tormented you their descriptions of your lack of worth: "Who would want to spend time with *you*?" "You'll just annoy them; and they won't want to be your friends, either." "Go away; no-one wants to be around you."
The pain is unbearable. It is excruciating. Your mind is just as complicit with those ghosts of your past in inflicting this psychological torture on you. And in this midst of all of this soul-rending pain, you can't reach out to others for comfort, because "no-one wants to be around you," and "you'll just annoy them," and " who would want to spend time with you?"
Worthlessness, especially when backed by a history of severe psychological trauma, is one of the more dangerous symptoms of depression out there.
Hashtags:
#Depression,
#Abuse,
#EmotionalAbuse,
#PTSD,
#Loneliness,
#Suicide,
#Ideation
(A note that as of the time of this posting, I am healthy. There is nothing to worry about save my insomnia and a slight shortage of kleenex around here.)
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