Coming Out Day Post for 11 October 2014

Coming Out Day Post for 11 October 2014

Hey, everyone, don't be shy! Tell us - when did you realise that you are straight? What was it like to tell your parents that you were straight? Any problems at school because of it?
But on a more serious note - *are* you sure about your sexual orientation? Depending on who is reading this post, you might think of yourself as straight, or gay, or lesbian. Are you, though? Those brave enough to do so, check out the (NSFW!!) image at http://beautifuldecay.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/bloomers5.jpg and have a think about it. Please also note that after this point, anatomically explicit language is used.

Some of you understand yourselves as loving women. Do you love women? Are you attracted to all kinds of women? Or just the ones with breasts and vulvas?

Some of you understand yourselves as loving men. Do you love men? Are you attracted to all kinds of men? Or just the ones with penises and flat, hairy chests?

Think about it. So what does it mean to be straight? Gay? Lesbian? Bisexual? Pansexual?
The photo linked above in this post is from an article in "Beautiful Decay" entitled "Compelling Nude Bodies Walk The Line Between Ordinary and Strange." Here is an excerpt from the article: "Dutch photographers Anuschka Blommers and Niels Schumm depict both sexes simultaneously in a series entitled Best of Both. ... The images feature nude male and female figures posed in different yoga-esque positions on the same gray carpet, with one half a man and the other a woman."
The photos are not safe for work and show nudity. The article is at http://beautifuldecay.com/2014/07/17/nude-bodies/?view=true. Try to think about gender, biological sex, and how bodies and minds work between these two identities.

Asexuals: We Also Seek Love

There are asexuals.

 We exist. This doesn't always mean that a person is completely disinterested in sex. Some people might have a very mild interest, or a rare interest. Others never want sex at all.

However, some of us still want the emotional intimacy that comes with a strongly bonded relationship. Some of us want to have a loved one, or a few loved ones, in our lives with whom we spend time and make special memories. Some of us might enjoy hugging and/or hand-holding. Some of us might want to cuddle. Some of us might enjoy kissing or other activities. Some of us don't feel the need to have that relationship formalised; others do. Please don't assume. Don't assume that we don't want a relationship; and don't assume that we don't want any physical contact at all. Ask.

It is rather difficult explaining to someone that you want to form relationships with others which have just as much emotional intimacy as a sexual relationship and which may even include certain aspects of physical intimacy such as hugging and hand-holding - but you just don't feel inclined to sex more than a small handful of times during the year.

And then it's downright frightening to try to approach someone to ask about the possibility of having such a relationship at all. It is so nerve-racking to work up the courage to ask to have such a relationship validated as a "relationship" of which one person would say to the other, "I'm seeing so-and-so" or "So-and-so is my partner/cuddle partner."

Because who might laugh at you to your face? God knows that rejection is already physically painful enough, but to be misunderstood and trivialised goes above and beyond even that. Then, who might not even understand the desire for the kind of emotional stability that a dedicated relationship provides? "You're just asexual. You don't need to be in a relationship like all the rest of us."

It is so difficult to navigate the world of love. Our hearts get smashed into bits and pieces, and on quite a regular basis. Please don't assume. Please ask us - ask what it is that we are comfortable with, ask what we desire in a relationship, and let us know what you want, what you need, what you are willing to provide should such a discussion arise.