Stepping off the Bandwagon

I am stepping off of the gay marriage bandwagon. It has been a heck of a journey. I really have enjoyed much of it, too: the building excitement each time that a case went to the Supreme Court, the waves of happiness every time that the tide turned for individual states, the joy and comfort of seeing my Facebook feed turn red at various points through the years.

I read up on gay marriage. I browsed articles following the successes and analysing the future of gay marriage. I looked up information on the benefits that gay marriage will have for society, and I have used that information as talking points for discussions with everyone from family members to politicians.

Over the past few weeks, however, I have learned that the gay marriage movement has plenty of support. It doesn't need me waving flags, posting articles, and carrying on with anyone else about how it will benefit LGB folk. The movement already has that - so, so much of that. Loud, vociferous support. The kind of support that, if you *dare* talk about housing, jobs, intersectionality, restrooms, access to healthcare, a re-examination of family structures - *anything* else at all under the sun, you will be jumped and accused of trying to derail the movement, putting interests of others ahead of those of LGB people who will benefit from gay marriage, offering up the LGB movement to bigots as fodder for their hate orgies, etc.

To my wonderful, supportive family and friends: you are awesome. I am so, so grateful for all of your support - all of it. Every single intersectional piece of it. (You didn't get up here because you tout one issue only, after all.) This includes your support for gay marriage. Gay marriage will indeed benefit me, and I appreciate everyone's efforts supporting it. It's just that I won't be as vocal as I have been in the past. I won't be changing my profile photo for it. I won't be posting articles and memes about it. The hard-core cheerleading section for gay marriage has got this covered, and it certainly doesn't need me anymore.

And I certainly don't need the toxicity of so many of its supporters.*

Much love to all of you. I look forward to many more loving and fun-filled times with you all. Thank you again so much.
-Freedom

Call Racism for What It Is (a response to the responses to Patricia Arqette)

Hi, Everyone
I get it. We don't like to admit the hard truths that exist among us. We dislike it even more when something that is deeply entrenched in us is splashed across national TV and swiftly - and rightly - condemned.

However, we need to stop using fancy words to identify the dark stain that resides in many Americans' hearts as a way of hiding what is now obvious within ourselves. We need to stop hiding behind complex concepts.

When Patricia Arquette said that LGBTIQ people (whom she merely called "gays") and people of colour needed to help women, she was being patently heterosexist and racist.

Not comfortable? You're not supposed to be comfortable. Confronting the evil within is never comfortable. Ms Arquette was being a racist. All of those who have been supporting her racist (and heterosexist) assertion are also racist (and heterosexist).

And I am here and now stating that hiding behind the concept of intersectionality, especially because we are "uncomfortable" using the term "racist" is itself an act of white privilege-clinging. Yes, Ms Arquette failed miserably at being intersectional. Yes, our society needs to be intersectional.

The fact remains that Ms Arquette was being a racist. The fact remains that our society is deeply and systemically racist. It is time for us to grow ourselves a collective spine, look this evil in the face, and take steps to destroy it.